My best friend told me yesterday, “You know, I’m feeling down right now. My sadness seems to have returned. I have to finish my thesis this final semester. I have no idea what to do. Do antidepressants make sense for me? I have no idea what triggers me.
After listening to her, I told her, “Don’t worry; everything will work out.” Then it occurred to me—don’t we say these things in practically every circumstance? And we counter with, “Don’t you believe in Allah?” when someone asks, “How will everything be okay?”
In that instant, I became aware of how frequently we use these phrases out of habit, maybe with the best of intentions, but do they really meet the requirements of the other person? I questioned whether I was actually assisting her or if my reaction was merely cliched as I reassured her. I then noticed how frequently we use forced positivity to minimize genuine challenges. We call this toxic positivity.
What is Toxic Positivity?
The excessive and coerced promotion of optimistic thinking while discounting or ignoring negative feelings is known as toxic positivity. It is based on the idea that no matter how challenging a circumstance may be, people should always have an optimistic outlook (Design Engineering, 2023). Although optimism is vital, repressing feelings in the name of positive can have negative psychological effects, such as stress and emotional tiredness (Toxic positive and Perceptions of Mental Health, 2022).
Examples:
Workplaces that encourage employees to “remain strong” in the face of burnout, relationships where partners avoid talking about disagreements, and even religious contexts where faith is used to minimize rather than to support someone’s challenges are all examples of toxic positivity.
The Challenge of Negative Emotion Ignorance:
We may believe we are helping someone when we say things like “just be positive” or “everything happens for a reason” without taking into account their difficulties. Joy’s attempt to keep Riley happy by repressing Sadness in Inside Out (2015) is a potent illustration of this. In order to illustrate how society frequently forces people to conceal their unpleasant feelings, she even draws a tiny circle and instructs Sadness to stay inside.
Suppressing unpleasant emotions, however, has been linked to long-term mental suffering and even physical health issues, according to study (Design Engineering, 2023). Phrases like:
- “At least it’s worse for others.”
- “You will be alright if you just pray.”
- “You’re thinking too much about it.”
tend to make people feel ignored instead of encouraged. People who feel under pressure to conceal their difficulties are more likely to experience anxiety and sadness, according to a study on toxic positivity and perceptions of mental health (Toxic Positivity and Perceptions of Mental Health, 2022). Toxic positivity reinforces the stigma by discouraging people from getting treatment rather than providing genuine support.
Conclusion
Despite its genuine intentions, toxic optimism frequently suppresses the difficulties that people need to voice. The goal of true support is to listen, validate, and walk with someone through their suffering rather than trying to make them happy.
Let’s change the subject. Let us say “I hear you” instead of “Just be positive.” You don’t have to face this situation by yourself.
Have you ever experienced toxic positivity in your own life? How did it make you feel? Share your thoughts in the comments—let’s start a conversation about embracing authentic emotions!”
References:
- Design Engineering. (2023). Toxic Positivity and Mental Health: It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.
- Toxic Positivity and Perceptions of Mental Health. (2022). Psychological Research Quarterly, 28(2), 112-130.
- Smith, J., & Jones, R. (2021). Toxic Positivity and Perceptions of Mental Health. Mental Health Studies, 12(4), 89-102.